Authored by Mike Sears

How to Let Go of Her

Early on in business, I heard a statement I thought was odd: nature abhors a vacuum.

I heard it in the context of, “if you fire a problem customer or employee, soon a better one will show up to replace them.” While I didn’t believe it at the time, experience has shown it to be true.

Many people get dependent on a person or thing, holding onto them even when that person or thing has been proven to be dysfunctional detrimental. They are afraid to get rid of it because they simply don’t believe they can replace them. So, they continue to tolerate the dysfunction.

I’m certainly no metaphysical guy, but I can tell you this for sure: when you remove the offender, something much better always shows up to fill that vacuum. What I heard so long ago has proven to be true time and time again. Many men do this with women. They either stay in a relationship gone bad OR they pine over the one who got away, one who left them, thinking they will never find another like them.

This is, as they say in military circles, “stinking thinking.” The opposite is almost always true: not only do you find another, better one out there in short order, you also see by comparison how bad the one you replaced was, seeing that she wasn’t special or extraordinary after all.

When you compare something to nothing, something always wins out. But when you compare that something to another something, you start to see that it was the comparison with nothing that made the something look good. Remove the original something, and you create a vacuum. That vacuum will be filled by something better.

When you acquire this ability, it gives you a lot of personal power because you now have the ability to say no, regardless of circumstance. Those who stay in bad relationships, or are held back by rose colored glasses of a woman known long ago, cannot say no even though they know they should.

Saying “no” to something or someone creates a vacuum. Many men fear vacuums thinking they will never be filled. A vacuum IS uncertainty. But uncertainty is actually a good thing, because that’s where opportunity comes from. When you really get this, you start to deliberately create vacuums in your life, knowing they will be filled by something better. You also avoid things you know you will eventually have to get rid of, because you can hold open a vacuum for better opportunity, knowing it will eventually be filled.

So don’t fear vacuums, create them…and opportunity will follow, pulled toward that vacuum.

Read more : Singles

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